Autumn 2010

sorry for the late update.. i was going to write more while still in Redding but didn't really have the time or energy to do that, so here we are now.. many many days later and in Finland.

I have been back here for a week and some days. it feels good although I had my doubts some times while walking the streets of Kuusankoski and wondering what my life here is all about. But lucky for me I love Fall and the colours on the trees and leaves and I think that is my way of surviving here..

At school I have been for a week and A LOT of things happened. I decided my major and applied for that. I decided my subject for my thesis and applied for that. That's a thing I wasn't planning to happen that fast but it just happened. So now this fall I have to write the plan for it, of how things will go and what happens and then next summer I can start doing my thesis. Exciting.
I also got to meet some people and figure things out, didn't go as I planned so I need to go meet this person again tomorrow and talk things straight, because I don't think the corner of a street is the best place for doing that at all.

I am starting to recover from the time difference and jet lag and that, waking up really early which is good but sometimes too early just is too early.

I need to figure out how to pay my visa bill and it has come even bigger because I didn't really have money to buy food after paying the bills that were waiting for me here at home. But I know somehow things will work out and I dont have to live from debt. Just have to use some of my student loan money for that and just wait for my tax returns..

Now life feels pretty good and this fall will be busy I think. Trying to be involved in a lot of things. That's good but hoping that I will know how to manage my time well. :) Everything is a learning process.

Congrats you all!

3rd of September 2010


Declaration of joy and love to people who are celebrating today.

First:

My oldest and most wonderful sister turns today 41. Congratulations sister! I love you <3


Secondly and where I can be part of too.

My dear friend Christina Delk and her fiancée Isaac Magana are getting married today!!! Congratulations on your wedding day!!
I am also so grateful that I can be part of this day.
Also Happy Birthday Christina!

monday thoughts

Grande Java Chip Frappucino with a blueberry muffin. Delicious. Location: Starbucks. The usual ( where I had the meeting with some angels.. you can read about that from earlier blog posting.)

Today my last full week started here in Redding.. and yes, next week I am already on my way back home.. I don't know if it's good or bad.. People are saying: stay here, stay here or asking when they see me after long time: oh are you doing 3rd year or what? and I'm like yeah, maybe later :D now just visiting.
My thoughts about the future and doing 2nd year have been changing like a rollercoaster.. It's so confusing. But if I do 2nd year I will def do 3rd year too then. I mean I still have time to figure all things out, but of course when I am here, actually here among the other students and friends and all that, obviously you think about these things.. life is.

Today the moving process started. First load of Katrina's stuff is over at the new place and tomorrow after she comes from work we will take the rest, probably and I assume I might go there to sleep in the evening. I love the house and we will have it to ourselves for the next couple days, until the other roommates will show up so that's pretty awesome.

I went to buy some t-shirts today, and found couple pair of earrings that I can use either pair at the wedding so that's cool :)
And then what I also did is that I went to buy a cupcake tray from Macy's.. yaiks.. :D haahh.. I mean I wanted to have one and I planned to get one, I just don't know where I am going to put it :D I might just mail it to myself :D.. because I was already thinking about doing that.. I just need to go to the post office.

Days seems to be so full of something.. I mean when we are trying to plan what to do when Katrina is off and just do things and all that, it seems that we are already so busy and that isn't so cool.. but that's life really. I mean we have done things and be part of stuff, it's just more of going from moment to moment. The sad situation is only that it's not walk-by-distance from Starbucks or Barnes & Nobles or places like that.. anyway, I think I can handle that, as long as I will get in touch with my pals.

Tonight my plan is to leave soon from here and then go to Foodmaxx to buy some stuff for the delicious mac&cheese recipe I learnt from leah.. (her grandma's SECRET recipe.. ) and planning to make that for myself tonight and eat that and maybe watch some Finger of God probably tonight.. It's prob going to be long night but who knows.. I haven't heard anything back from my friends and that is sad.
update - Joe answered, he works till 8 pm which I knew.. and maybe he would like to hang out with me later so I told Katrina to tell him to pick me up later in the evening.. so I might have plans after all.. hahah..
You never know what happens here or what you are doing later in the evening..

Zero-fat Diet and other wonders of life

As the title says, that's what I will try next. (sounds like as I would tried a lot of different things, but that's not true..)

I went to the doctor with my friend and he suggested to her to do that and while I was listening, I decided that I have to do that too.
It will be hard and I should add some crazy exercise with that, but at least in the beginning I just try to find the "right" diet for myself. My plan is to keep doing that till Christmas and then look from that how it works.
I was told that it would take maybe about three weeks to see the first results.
I am going to have Katrina as my accountability partner, I need to share with her how I'm doing and also my plans will include that I will write here about my diet and struggles with that. I guess I need to do some measurements before that so that I know where I am at and see the changes better.



Today we are supposed to have this Lake Party day, but when I look outside there's (not cold) but cooler and little bit of rain in the air.. For me it is okay and it felt wonderful to just walk here (to Barnes and Nobles) and let's face it, there was no one else walking with me.. This is true car kingdom.. hahah.
Today Katrina is working till tomorrow morning and I have to figure out something to do.. and I don't even know what's going to happen with the going to the lake.. I guess I should just go to my apartment and wait there if someone picks me up for something else. As you know, I don't have a phone to call anybody.. sucks.

anyhow, i will go now and play some treasure madness or something else, spending time online waiting for some friends to wake up :)

Furious Love

Hoping to catch up with ya'll as I have been here for now for a week and two days..
Time has gone so fast, althou it feels like I would have been here for much longer.. I guess that's because so much is going on and we are doing a lot, (although we are not really) but the lifestyle is here more day by day oriented, so maybe that's the reason of the feeling time flying so fast..

What have I done in the past week?

Well, where to begin..

Obviously I have been extremely tired, jet lag can be hard.. and it kinda sucks when your friends would like to hang out late in the night but you are so tired that you cannot even keep your eyes open.. hahah..
But luckily the situation is getting better :) and I think here you have to realize the factor of hot sun that will make you feel so tired after a day in the sun..
(4 hours in the sun and I got really sunburnt... really sunburnt, even I DID put some sunblock on me.. it was only 15spf and I think I need to get 50Spf..) Tomorrow I will have a lake day with my old roommates and I definitely don't want to get sunburnt there..

I have seen a lot of friends and especially when Katrina has been working I have spend quality time with other friends and it has been good.. Real good. Kinda catch up with life little bit and be part of their daily lives here. See preparations for Christina and Isaac's wedding that's in a week.. Woot Woot! (the bridal shower is on Sunday). All the things I can be part of, that is just amazing.

I have done SOME shopping :D hahah.. maybe little more than was planned but who cares.. hahah.. I mean I have bought some stuff from my list that I made before coming here.. and I am happy that I got stuff that I wanted, clothes and craft stuff for the future things.. I just need to pray for my luggage that it will weight only 23kg at the airport.. But Katrina promised to pack my stuff well so that I can put all the heavy stuff in my backbag in my hand luggage.. so that will be good..

Time here has been good, enjoying life doing nothing or kinda nothing..
But this time here has also popped up A LOT of questions in my mind for myself and to the Lord.. I just have the moment of confusion in my life.. Kinda like pondering about what am I going to do with my life, what will happen, what is this coming season about, what should I do about it, what are the things God wants to teach me during this season etc.. LOTS OF QUESTIONS :D hahah.

and I need to write about that more on the next posting..

Healing Rooms and more

I just wanted to talk little bit about today how we went to the Healing Rooms at Bethel today.

So at Bethel they have these Healing Rooms every Saturday, where people can come to get prayed for something or just soaking in His presence.
Apparently it has changed little bit from the last time, because there's so many people coming to Healing Rooms. So there's prayer servants and people go there in groups of 15 - 20.. While waiting they will be in this Encounter Room, which means that there's worship, dance, soaking, just being in the presence of the Lord and then you just wait for your turn.. They also share testimonies of healings and people are get prayer ALSO while waiting to get inside. I think that's great..

I was just sitting there and enjoying the presence and thinking that I have truly missed this atmosphere of freedom and love that just overflows there.
And on the Avenue of Nations I saw the flag of Finland!! yaya.. they didn't have that before.. only in the prayer house.

shhhh.. I will tell ya a secret.. Last night when we went to the service, I was just so so tired and during the worship while I had my eyes closed I just felt that if this keeps going on, I will fell a sleep and that's not good, especially bc I am sitting on the third row in front. So I was planning to go sleeping in Joe's car while he is at the service but he suggested that go to the prayer house.. So I went there and had good hour and a half there and I "woke" up around 9.30 and ten minutes later Joe came pick me up from there.. So refreshing! and I feel that the Lord also was cleaning me inside.. Doing things in me so that's AWESOME!

and I am going to buy these two dvd's about GOd's amazing Work. THose are called: Finger of God and Furious Love.. prob going to buy couple more so that I can sell those back home to people, apparently some peeps have been asking about those.. (Sami told me, so prob going to do that.. althou the amount of luggage that I can carry is so limited.. but yeah.)

Anyway, I am just enjoying life here and it's so good to just be with friends and feel loved and missed :)

I try to share more about this trip later.. See ya

HEL - AMS - SFO - RDD

With pleasure I am writing this blog from Redding, California. My favorite place in States.

This is my third full day here and I am just loving it. I started my trip 7am from Helsinki-Vantaa airport and made it and out from SFO at 7.30pm this time. A long day indeed. But was happy to see Katrinas face at the airport.
My flight to Amsterdam went fine and I was happy to go boarding to my next flight from AMS to SFO but it was delayed.. First only couple hours and finally it got delayed by 5 hours.. I was like God where's my favor??? But going through this experience I realized that His favor doesn't always mean that all the things has to go perfectly. It means that even in the situations you don't enjoy that much, His favor is with you. Let me share what happened.. There was some technical difficulties in the plane and that's why we had to wait for so long.. So the staff had to get us another plane, but this time it was smaller than the first plane.. Which meant that around 70-100 people would fly out of AMS the net day.. And I was like no, I need to get there today.. I was flying today bc Katrina would be able to pick me up today. I won't accept this.. :D Anyway, I just had this peace (even a lot of people were angry and just yelling to the staff) that I will get a seat in the plane.. althou I thought I heard my name called on the list of people staying in Dam.
Anyway, I just waited and then I tried to Board and they told me I still don't have a seat and the lady asked me to go talk with her colleague. I'm like okay. I went and she asked me to sit and wait. Althou I could have just be mad and yell and be furious that I must get to this flight, I just said okay, I will wait.. Then I just sat, waited and even saw this family who were after me and they were guided to go to this other desk that was for people who had to stay in Dam.. I was like oh, wonder what's going to happen to me.. Anyway, in 5 more minutes the lady comes and winks at me that she got me a seat.. I was like YEESSSS! thank you JESUS! hahah you are so good.. I got like one of the last seats. so so good. and maybe like couple minutes after I got into the plane, it took off..
That's what I call God's favor :)

I have seen my friends and familiar places and it feels like I have not been away this long.. It feels like coming home after a long trip..
I have also laughed when some people have asked me if I am going to do third year here.. and then I'm like I haven't even done 2nd year.. hahahh.. I guess this is truly a sign that I must do second year and third year OR there's a chance for me to get to third year right away. YAY!

I will continue the story on another text. Enjoying my life so so so much!

Holla at your

It's Saturday the 14th of August and my vacation started yesterday when I left the main building at work.. WHich means that 2 and a half months of working is over.. at work it means: Summer is oveeeer!.. hahah.. but it kinda is that way.

Time went so fast and on Friday it was even hard to realize, today it's my final day..
My colleagues remembered me with the most loveliest gift ever. It's this book called" In Tilda's House" and it's all about sowing and handicraft ideas and patterns. The best thing ever. I guess I have talked about it sometimes at work bc apparently that's how they got the idea. I was going to buy one book in June but I didn't bc of the financial situation but I got one and I think the best book for myself as a gift.. I already started last night testing all the patterns and ideas.. Watch out family and friends, you just might get something fun for Christmas.

As I might have mentioned, I am going to Redding next week for three weeks. Couple days ago I received a huge shock when I saw my paycheck. I don't get so much money.. First I was like huh, then I realized of course I don't get that much bc I don't work the full month.. I was kinda bummed for a while bc obviously I had planned how to use my WHOLE SALARY.. hahah. So my budget of 500e became more like 0e. Obviously I cannot tell this to folks bc I am still in the process of learning how to use my money and let's face it, I haven't saved anything from what I earned.. Althoug I think after bills and rent and trainticket it wouldn't been so much but still.
Luckily I have my plan B, kinda. I mean I am thankful that I got the Visa and then in emergency case I can use my student loan little bit.
But this situation really thought me that I need to start saving some money. What I am probably going to do is that I will put little bit of money to my dad's bank account every month so there it will stay safe. This money is actually for 2nd year at Bethel, which will happen someday.. (My brother today asked me if/when I will go there for a longer stay and I said, it will happen in the future.. maybe after my studies here or little bit later).

So now I have 4 days before I am on my way to San Francisco and from there to Redding. Katrina will pick me up from the airport and what I've heard, we are going to be busy.. yaiks. jk . It's good to be little busy in a way.. To have things to do, we will have time to chill too. And I am also eager to see THE WEDDING, of Christina and Isaac. Even their wedding invitation was so lovely, it gave me the tears of joy.

And I believe this coming year is going to be awesome and great things will happen. I will just pour that word over my life and believe it and live it. God is so good and He want's ONLY GOOD AMAZING things for me.

past is past, future is here

God, help me today. I so need to learn how to leave things behind so that they won't come back and disturb my life again. Could you teach me that?

Thanks.

Joy of the Lord

What's with the goals?

Yesterday I was going through my blog, kinda seeing what I have been writing here.. and noticed that around March I made this list of goals in the future.. thought to update it a little bit for you and for myself..

Updating goal list or more like what has happened to those goals..

.
- I have sold some of my bracelets, not that many.. But I have done more "products" or at least tried out more things that I can do with my hands and maybe sell in the future.. Unique design of course.
- I cannot remember what I have done in the evening on school days. During this summer I have read, knitted, being in contact with friends and being tired most of the time after long day at work.. Checked!
- I haven't been to the youth meetings that often, which is sad and my own fault really.. but i think at the end of May some doors opened for me at the church so that things will start happen in the fall.. Excited about that :)
- Nintendo Wii. Goodbye and see you in the future maybe.. haha. Even thou I was telling everyone that I am getting this but I will put my friends first and go see them in Redding. and I would be at my place only for the fall if I truly am going to do this exchange program thing in next spring.. so not going to happen.
- TEFL - for later times. Apparently getting paid well doesn't mean that it leaves money to use for things.. I have to pay rent, monthly train pass, bills, all that. I want to do it still, just later because it is good if I work abroad and it will be useful.
- I've made chocolate lollipops. .not real chocolate but almost the same. Checked.
- I have done some arts and crafts.. Should do more, find to time and energy for that.
- With cake decorating I have grown little bit. I have done some cakes and always open for new ideas. I just spend 70e for decoration items so I can practice and make things for cakes so they look cool :D
- I haven't survived without my student loan. It's not cool but what can you do.
- I am still planning to do the exchange program and probably in Sweden.. Gävle to be more exact. I already visited the campus on Midsummer eve on our way to Norway.
- Still looking for a place to do my practical work time.

Yeah, little updating :D

I should put more goals for the future because I've noticed that whenever you have dreams or goals that you wanna go after, you move on. You go after those things. If you don't have dreams or goals, then what's with your life. Is it goin anywhere?

happy thoughts

Today has been interesting day. I feel like bursting out of ideas and energy to do things.. I feel happy. Truly.
Even with this blog. Today I could have been writing more than what I have done.. and I have even been thinking about if I shoudl focus my blog for a spesific area of subject.. But then I know my mind is so fast prosessing things so I feel it's best to leave it the way this is, mix up of thoughts, ideas, poems, bible verses, all the things I can imagine I have already been writing about here and will write in the future.

Sometimes I feel difficult to write my thoughts and hopes down, at another moment it feels so easy to write or think about those things, then it's so hard to put it down here.. I think now this is my journal of some kind. My life story. When I was a kid I managed to write to my journal sometimes everyday.. I have almost 10 journals.. haha. crazy amount. I think then it was my place to write everything down when I couldn't talk with anyone.. Now I just keep things to myself, unless I talk with someone. Don't know if it's a good thing or bad.

This flash of idea came to my mind.. wondering if someone would actually read this, I wonder what he or she would think I/the writer would be.. prob crazy because the subjects and writing is all over the place.. hahah.. just funny.. I mean think about it, when you are reading a blog or something similar, don't you ever think about or wonder what kind of person is behind it, unless you know the actual writer. I think everything we bring to this earth, if it's something we create or write or speak, it reflects of who we are and how we think.. So I think in my case it just shows that my life is a mess. in a good way.. ;) lots of things going on. or was going on. now it's starting to slow down. for a while at least.

Summer wishes

Wanted to share this wonderful picture with you because it's from a strawberry cake. I think strawberry cakes are especially for summer times, to enjoy then. Summer here in Finland has been wonderful, extremely hot.. We have never seen this hot summer here, or felt more like. 37,2 `celsius on last Thursday.

Redding, here I come!

Hey, I also wanted to share great news that I have known for a while..

Less than three weeks I am departing from Helsinki-Vantaa Airport and will be on my way to Redding, California.. I am so excited!

I haven't been there over a year and a half so it will be so good to see my friends after a long time. Of course we are lucky these days when the technology is so good that I am able to keep contact through internet, it is not the same than seeing face to face.

I was planning to go there for two weeks and I was planning to get the tickets on June. But I didn't have the money.. Then after midsummer I received and envelope from Redding. I opened it and tadaa: it was an wedding invitation. Invitation to Christina and Isaac´s wedding on Sept 3rd. I was like, wow.. what a great timing bc I was planning first to leave Redding on 31st or 30rd.. But after receiving the invitation I decided to stretch my trip little bit and I got one more week. I will stay at Katrina's apartment with her and her roomies.
I made a promise with Candace that I will see her everyday for three weeks.. I am eager to see how that works.. :)

Today I promised to my nephews to get some SpongeBob stuff IF I see something cool.. or find.. hahah.. good promises.

And I have found out that so many of my good friends are in Redding while I am there so I am so excited about that, I will see many of good friends. I know I will be so encouraged by them and hopefully I can give courage to many also. So so cool..
I am counting days :)

Book chapters.

Okay, post of the day..

Today I have been thinking little bit of my book.. You know, the book. The book I wrote in 1st year at BSSM.. in English and now I have translated it into Finnish.. With that I kinda decided to add more stuff into it because obviously through the year I have grown and learnt more to share with the public.

God has given me to ideas to add to the book. One chapter will be about Grace. God's Grace. I know that the chapter will be about it, I just don't know more at the moment.. :) I think it will be something I will do in the fall, then I hopefully have more time to ponder and do little research so that it will be a strong chapter..

The idea for the other God-given chapter came while I was talking with a friend on skype or fb-chat, and I was just sharing and laughing about God's goodness and His humour. How He makes me laugh and we have these inside jokes.. Alone in my apartment when I'm talking with God and He just gives me good laughs when we talk to each other.. And it just gives the insight of how well He knows me and knows what makes me laugh.. In everything really..
So the chapter will be about how God is in a good mood all the time and how He has good humour and it's just funny.
I am not sure how all this will be wrapped up together but I know it will happen somehow. I am just so excited to know that I have these ideas and I will write these chapters. The most difficult part is the WHEN - question. I know my school will keep me busy but maybe writing this is good break from school things.

Those chapters will add the page amount little bit in the book, so it's not a booklet anymore :D I think He has more things for me than I can even imagine. <3

Isaiah 22:22

"; what He opens no-one can shut, and what he shuts no-one can open. "

This verse has been on my heart for couple of years.. I received it while I was in India for some months.. It was actually a word for the organization I was working for that spesific year and I also took the word for myself.

In the moments when I have even have the smallest doubt in my mind, I have put my trust into this verse and knowing that every step I take into any direction, whatever is His plan it will be good.

Sometimes there might be situations that you yourself hope and believe that doing something or going one direction is the right way, but then you don't get why doors don't open. Sometimes our beliefs or what we think is right, is the right way with God's plans.

This one verse, this one sentence gives me hope and strength in the moments when I know I have gone through the right door that He has opened for me and it feels hard time to time. Knowing that He has opened it for me, He will make everything good and takes care of me, even during the hardest time.. I know I am on the right path.. and that feeling feels so good.

--

Those feelings
that passion
Those emotions
that look

Feels like fire
burning inside of me
Feels like ice
pouring all over me

Something so wonderful
still has to wait
Something so dangerous
still stays pure

One moment
can change in a sec
One touch
can move the mountains

Still here
watching trough the window
staying behind the glass

Fire bursting out
Come help and put the fire down

Why are you fat? such a question..

Why are you fat? This question was asked from me today and it came out of the blue.. I was little bit shocked.. althou it was my luck ( I think) that the person asking this was a a girl in her early teens. But still.. Who want's to hear this and why asking.. hah.. I mean, kids they ask things.. and it's known that the truth comes out of the mouths of the children. Still, I didn't like hearing that question and I told here that here in Finland it's kinda insulting to even ask.. of course I could say that you know I am fat because I like to eat.. which is true.. but then I couldn't call myself fat.. Big yes, but fat, no. and I can tell you that currently I am losing kg's so that's good..

I think most of the kg's are leaving with the stress that I am having currently about finding the perfect exchange school place..
and I know, God will take care of things but I am eager to hear some news from my teachers and just find possibilities to share with them because then my school has to contact the school receiving..

Still enjoying my work placement and thinking that only 2 and a half weeks left.. that's crazy.. Days just fly pass by.. Summer is really coming.. althou my summer will be full of work.. I will have two weeks vacation at the end of August and now I am planning of what to do with that time.. Go to Redding or to Greece? :)

Today I was retaking my test and I was happy to see the questions and knowing that today I will pass.. I had some more knowledge in my brain.. :D I am so tired to write more clearly or pondering about things so today this blog is more about just getting everything out of my system what happened today and just feeling free..

good night.

good times

Just thought to share some view thoughts..

Still enjoying my job. Learning new things and meeting a lot of new people :) I feel like I am in a right place at the right time.
I have been mostly working and the weekend I just rested.. and I was interviewed to Viikkolehti - magazine. Hoping that it would get good response and God could speak to people through that. I also attended a church service on Sunday with Sisko and Kauko. It was interesting.. it is this new place (at least for me) and still kinda small. It felt good to be there but I am still looking for my own place.

On Thursday I am planning to make some munkki for Vappu. And Talvikki is coming to visit and we prob attend VappuGospel.. good times :)

I love my job!!

learning

just with quick words wanted to tell you that my practical time started today.. Of course I was nervous and excited and couldn't sleep last night.. Time went well over and I had a good day.. Observing mostly but still.

Tomorrow I have a long day because they are open till 6pm.. and I will get there 9am..

but it's okay.. I am learning new things :)

Today I was introduced to my brothers girlfriend. It was nice to meet someone for the first time. This was first time ever to meet any of my brothers girlfriends so good times :)

After today, I am feeling really tired and ready to go to bed.. so good night and sleep tight zzzZZZzzzZZZ

happy thoughts

Just wanted to celebrate here that the exams are over now!! for a while I mean.. :D

In the morning we had the Swedish presentation and after that the exam.. I was afraid but I have this little hope inside of me that I will pass..

In the evening I had the exam of Social security basics - course.. Also having a little place inside of me saying that I passed.

I know, I didn't read that a lot during the weekend but I am happy that I found the refreshing joy this weekend and energy :) so I appreciate that more..

anyway, tomorrow morning last tutorial session and handing in couple assignments.. then couple days off and practical time it is.. yay.. going after graduation.. :D

Blessings to the rest of the week!

S

saturday night live

it's weekend again. i should be working on my school assignments but feeling really tired of doing.. and i shoudl be reading to my exams but that's not happening..

so last two nights i have gone to these midnight walks with my friend.. we made a decision that from now on, on every Tuesday evening 7pm we will go for a walk together. That's how we both will get exercise.. :) We had fun.

Yesterday the day was really busy too. I practised my presentation with my partner and then went to the store shopping some Cherry Coke!!! it has arrived to Finland.. woot woot. althou it's limited edition, but still.

then i had the chance to go to Kouvola again with other friends and we showed some Kouvola to this French guy.. althou there wasn't that much to see xD

I started a cakeblog couple days ago and updated it yesterday.. I am not expecting to have a lot readers but maybe my friends could enjoy it.

I was thinking that I could start to write about things from Bethel in this blog.. Doing that would encourage me to go deeper with God and just re-live in a way of those teachings I have learnt.

So much going on at the moment.. but life seems good today :)

Be blessed!

Always at school and on computer.. hmmm.

"Are you always here at school and always in front of these computers??"

A question that one of our exchange students asked me today :D

I was there in the morning and also in the afternoon.. I know, I spend too much time on computer but what else can I do here.. (I know, there's a lot of things but right now at least I cannot make any)..

Anyway, I went to school and we had our last tutorialgroup meeting in this spesific course.. YAY. It's almost over.. Then we combined our feedback from yesterday and send. It went to our teacher.. Only the last exam is coming in the future, well, next week to be more exact.. I should read but my reading skills are little rusty today ( I have started thou, in both books.. ) .

I had some free time at school.. I was planning to write my self-value-report but look, didn't happen.. that's a surprise.. What did I do during that free 4-hour-period.. Well, let's see.. I looked up some information for Kela. Then, I went to eat lunch ( I rarely do that at school) and after that I read the newspaper and read little while to my hygienepass-test. (but most time I was playing facebook-games on computer.. once an addict, always an addict.. :D) But I trusted more to my own sense that I will make it.. and in the end: I did! I passed the test. Only one mistake from 40 questions, which is really good.. And that one mistake was really dumb mistake too.. anyway, day was long but not over..

My sister took me to Prisma later in the afernoon, and also I was able to spend quality time with my nephew who is 17yrs old tomorrow.. Wow, I am getting old too.. But at Prisma I was able to buy some Cherry Coke that they sell now in Finland.. I think I mentioned while in States that that was mostly the only drink I drank while there.. I like it :D and now it has arrived to Finland.. wohoo!

Tomorrow:

Swedish, preparing for the test and presentation with minna.

Doing group work about some things ;) really helps you to understand right.. haha.

Practical period info

Moona-course, last time.. woot woot.

I am still thinkin about if I would go to Kouvola tomorrow night, they have this Youth Thursday there, I think it's tomorrow, second thursday of the month.. But I just don't want to discuss about the incident where I was forgotten to Järvenpää.. what to do, what to do.. well, I guess I should know that if a guy forgets to pick me up, he will also forget that this even ever happened.. :D but I will always remember it.. isn't life amazing..

talk to you later!

tuesday's tune

Finally it's over.

Today at school we had had these seminar works that we had to present to others. For some reason some other classes had signed classrooms for them so we had to squeeze two groups in one class.. so I didn't have to present my work by myself. Although I felt so unprepared when I went to school this morning.. I know, it's my own fault bc for some reason I haven't had the energy to do anything extra.

This afternoon, on my way home, I started to wonder that maybe it's because of my painkillers that I have to take for my back pain. Maybe those killers are causing some tiredness and disables me to do more than just what I have to.

For example, last night I realized that tomorrow we have this group session at school and I need to write an essay about ethics. :D yep, even the subject sounds like something I should have started to think about a lot earlier.. Anyway, life is good.

There's always HOPE - as my t-shirt says to me and others.

I went to the post office to get a package that I ordered last week. I got it and excited to start trying new things... :)

Jesus, give me energy to finish the day and homework and all that is included.

Spring is coming, it's raining outside.

"Be who you are, don't change. Don't try to change. Accept yourself as who you are and who He made you to be!"

update

I think I need to write here more often.. so that all of my writing aren't just when I feel frustrated or having a bad day and need to get things out of the system.. There are good days too, now there's just a lot of little things that combined together and result is mess..

But life already looks brighter.. now I just should practice my teaching for tomorrow.. I had the whole day but it's almost gone :D hahah..

Going after dreams that was revealed again more clearly

Today is a new day. That's the truth and a fresh thought for today.

I have been praying for new revelations and a freshing joy to come. I feel like for a while I have been stuck for some reason. As if I don't know what I want or what to do. But then when I talk with my friends and share my dreams and visions, I am able to do that. I have those dreams and visions for my life, for my generation, for my church. Just some how I have forgotten those things. As if this cloud of darkness would be on the way so that I couldn't see those things clearly.

Living here, in a small city and church is not close by and when I go there I want something more than that. I know I am changer. I am revivalist and wherever I go I will change the atmosphere but I alone cannot change peoples 20-year-old attitudes and mindsets.

I guess what I am trying to say and even realize this day is that just being close with God and trusting Him with everything, is all I need to do.

And for some reason He has sent me here, to be in this place.

My cry has been so long to really grow into a great revivalist. I am shamed to admit that I don't behave like that always. Even this last weekend God brought these great opportunities to me to live like a revivalist. Pray for healings and see signs and wonders to happen. In my head I heard these words, pray for him, pray for him. What did I do. Nothing. I didn't ask him if I could pray for him and for the healing. I am so sorry. For some reason this something came on me and I couldn't do it. and I already felt awful after the moment.

My prayer for today is to have courage in situations like that. Even with Christian people.

When my friends from Bethel ask me what's going on among people and youth, I don't even know. I haven't been able to go to church that often. Biggest reason for that is that I am still looking for a place that I would burn to go and feel loved. I am so excited to see Bill Johnson to come to Finland and the team with him. I am just afraid to reveal to them that through me there hasn't been that many people that has the fire for more.

I know that during summer a lot of things happened and some people are going wild after God and are encouraged by what I have shared in my testimony. I know I am blaming myself but I am just expecting more from myself. I thing this is a place of growth in a lot of different areas.

Courage and power and more intimacy with God. That's the key.

I know that right now I am really hard on myself but seeing the fire on others and what God is doing in them, makes me want more and wondering why am I not there or even more.

Earlier this afternoon I was reading a blog by my friend and I was so amazed how she wrote things and shared her thoughts about God and her vision and dreams. That reminded me so clearly about how I have those dreams in myself too, I just need to wipe the dust off.

There's also a chance to go to St. Louis in September. Joyce Meyer's Women Conference is there. I felt that it might be the thing for me to go there. Maybe. Let's see what God is doing this spring and summer.

Dreams are big and just waiting to see them happening. Go after your dreams!

no words to discribe

So, I learned today that still I am not responding well to disappointments.. or maybe I just don't handle those that well. at least not in here in Finland. I am not sure if I ever will be completely able to respond well to situations that will suck.. but let's just say that today wasn't my best.

With couple words, Easter went well and the whole event went well. I was busy at the info desk and also being charge of the channels and organizing all that. I was running around during Saturday but when I finished, this feel of relief went through me.

So today my ride home forgot to tell me that he already left.. and it sucked. and when these kind of situations come, tears are close by.. even thou I guess there's no reason to cry but that's just my way of handling the situation.. (who forgets things like that.. )

So when I realized what had happened, I just wanted to go and packed my stuff and hopped on a train.

Also one other thing is bugging me. I have been waiting for almost a month that my brother could find the chance to tell me that he is in a relationship with this girl. It has a history behind all this but at least for me, I don't want to read this kind of news from Facebook.. Especially when I have thought that we have a good relationship and we have said that this kind of news we will share openly to each other.. So that has been hard for me.. to wonder what's wrong that even my own brother isn't able to tell me that he has a girlfriend and they are serious about it.. Everybody else seems to know about it.. but not the family.. Maybe this is what it feels to be loved..

Easter started well, ended not so well.. To be honest, there's still tomorrow to help this Easter to be better.. although there should be something amazing to happen so that this feeling of suckness and sadness would leave me.

anyway, hoping that everyone else enjoyed their Easter.

love, S

Wishing you blessed Easter!

I was going to wish you happy Easter but then I started to think, was it that happy?

I mean the results of the events in Israel 2000 years ago are happy for us. Jesus died for us so that we could live forever. So I rather wish blessed Easter for all of you. Maybe during this time we could really spend time with the word and understand of the events that happened long time ago. He died for us. It is unbelievable that this guy died for me. He died for me, for my sake that I could life forever. That all my sins are forgiven. He died for all my sins and my mistakes that I have done and going to do. How amazing is that? Isn't that the greatest way to show love. To realize that this much He loves me. It is just overwhelming feeling to realize that.. wow..

Here's a picture for you to enjoy this time of the year. Hopefully it gives you joy.

I had fun and busy day which I managed to complete, praise the Lord. Deadlines with school work, today we handed out this one work so I have one work less to do, which is awesome. Then I went to visit my practical learning - place. That was fun, I was little bit nervous and excited and wandering if I couldn't find the place.. but I did.. yay.. And it seems that I will have a lot to do there but that's just good thing for me :)

Tomorrow I need to speak Swedish when we go to this school visit with my Swedish class. Then i will head to HistoryMaker.. waiting for that, will be my first time and of course I am doing things. Part of Info-desk, prayer service and hosting the channels.. Yep, that's my Easter :D

Have a blessed Easter!

Valentine's Day

So I made this cake for Valentine's Day.. Was hoping to have some friends for a visit but no one came.. It took me a week to eat this cake.. it was good :)

christmas bakings

My gingerbread house for christmas 2009 in my first own rental apartment, also known as home.

23rd Birthday

My 23rd Birthday, 12th of December 2009.

this baby I made for my birthday.. it was fun, althou it took some time.. but as you will see from the pictures, theme of the cake was pink :D

And it indeed is a purse.. not a lock as some of you thought.. I like purses and bags.. not pink ones in real life but on a cake it's just fine.

Trying different things for the decorations.. red/pink whip cream this time, suits for a 23-year-old lady.. :)

Here's some pictures from preparations in the beginning.. I used some raspberry jam in the between with sliced banana.. Also I used my pätkis-mousse in the middle of layers.. (oh, just a secret: it is so delicious.especially when you keep it in the fridge for the night)

Cake decorating starts! practice makes better!

I wanted to show some pictures of my bakings.. well my cakes that I have started to make.. the main idea is to practice my cake decoration skills.. and I am excited that I bought some new nostrils from Chennai that I am waiting to start using. Just waiting for the right moment..

But now some pictures for you. Here are the first ones from my brothers birthday in October 2009. Wanted to surprise him.

With the cake I tried different things and even with experiments, the cake came out well and delicious. yammy!

As you can see, there's two different cakes used in this. One from bigger size and another smaller. That gave me option to have little different shaping in the cake and also more layers.

During that time I bought my first own nostrils and tried different things on the cake.

This one is from my preparations.. it took some time but it was worth it! and it was fun to colour the whipped cream too.. patriotic colours with some green ;)

feeling blue

It's that time again.. to update my blog.

Cannot even say that I wouldn't had the time to write here, but just haven't done it.

Easter time is coming and on facebook you can see all the games featuring Easter things.. a new thing for me, being an game addict.. :D What else is here to do in the evening time.

It's Friday night, eating pain killers for my back pain, at home by myself and just finished a movie. Can life be any greater?!

Two weeks ago I came back from India.. Well, I visited Chennai, the city of friends and the city I used to live for six months. It was good times seeing friends and resting. Rest was needed.

Came back to school and it has been crazy busy. A lot of deadlines and essays to write and figuring how to make 8 people to be in the same room at the same time to write a seminar work. Interesting.

But the bright side of this wackiness is the thing that I have officially three weeks left of school and then my internship starts. I am really waiting for that. Next week I am going there for a visit and just to say hello.

I am also doing little bit of planning for the future.. I really really want to go and do internship abroad. So now it's just time for searching places from the field of Social Work. I am already excited about doing an exchange student - time over somewhere.. Not sure where, and not sure when.. but it's going to happen. I always dreamt about it in high school and vocational school but now I have the opportunity to do it.

I have enjoyed Friends lately a lot. My companion for the evenings.. and I just want to share with the world that they are hilarious. I remember the first time I watched Friends and it wasn't that funny. now I am just laughing all the time, I guess I have grown up to understand them more.. ;)

I have been wondering more about my life and what I will do and what I really want to do and what direction I will take and how I will survive here for so long-- a lot to think about really.. and also from now on I will try to keep this blog more up-to-date and maybe even having a theme for this.. Thing is I like to do different things so I am not sure about the theme yet.. will see. But just wanting to share some bits about my life and keeping a diary in a same place.

Goals for the future:

- loose some weight, don't eat that much

- sell my products: bracelets from saraneito designs

- find something interesting to do for the evenings

- Find more time to attend the youth meetings

- Buy Nintento Wii ( for some reason I have decided this.. and I will do it.. :D )

- Get TEFL Certification

- Learn to make chocolate

- Learn more arts and crafts stuff

- Learn & practice more of cake decorating

- Surviving without spending my student loan

- Exchange program

- Internship somewhere abroad

New things I have done lately:

- Put some seeds on a pot and seeing it grow and hopefully to bloom soon and then see a flower

- Bought some roast meat and making my official easter meal

- Learning to make Mould'nPaint decorations.. still learning more.. :D practising my painting skills

- playing Treasure Madness