"Be who you are, don't change. Don't try to change. Accept yourself as who you are and who He made you to be!"

update

I think I need to write here more often.. so that all of my writing aren't just when I feel frustrated or having a bad day and need to get things out of the system.. There are good days too, now there's just a lot of little things that combined together and result is mess..

But life already looks brighter.. now I just should practice my teaching for tomorrow.. I had the whole day but it's almost gone :D hahah..

Going after dreams that was revealed again more clearly

Today is a new day. That's the truth and a fresh thought for today.

I have been praying for new revelations and a freshing joy to come. I feel like for a while I have been stuck for some reason. As if I don't know what I want or what to do. But then when I talk with my friends and share my dreams and visions, I am able to do that. I have those dreams and visions for my life, for my generation, for my church. Just some how I have forgotten those things. As if this cloud of darkness would be on the way so that I couldn't see those things clearly.

Living here, in a small city and church is not close by and when I go there I want something more than that. I know I am changer. I am revivalist and wherever I go I will change the atmosphere but I alone cannot change peoples 20-year-old attitudes and mindsets.

I guess what I am trying to say and even realize this day is that just being close with God and trusting Him with everything, is all I need to do.

And for some reason He has sent me here, to be in this place.

My cry has been so long to really grow into a great revivalist. I am shamed to admit that I don't behave like that always. Even this last weekend God brought these great opportunities to me to live like a revivalist. Pray for healings and see signs and wonders to happen. In my head I heard these words, pray for him, pray for him. What did I do. Nothing. I didn't ask him if I could pray for him and for the healing. I am so sorry. For some reason this something came on me and I couldn't do it. and I already felt awful after the moment.

My prayer for today is to have courage in situations like that. Even with Christian people.

When my friends from Bethel ask me what's going on among people and youth, I don't even know. I haven't been able to go to church that often. Biggest reason for that is that I am still looking for a place that I would burn to go and feel loved. I am so excited to see Bill Johnson to come to Finland and the team with him. I am just afraid to reveal to them that through me there hasn't been that many people that has the fire for more.

I know that during summer a lot of things happened and some people are going wild after God and are encouraged by what I have shared in my testimony. I know I am blaming myself but I am just expecting more from myself. I thing this is a place of growth in a lot of different areas.

Courage and power and more intimacy with God. That's the key.

I know that right now I am really hard on myself but seeing the fire on others and what God is doing in them, makes me want more and wondering why am I not there or even more.

Earlier this afternoon I was reading a blog by my friend and I was so amazed how she wrote things and shared her thoughts about God and her vision and dreams. That reminded me so clearly about how I have those dreams in myself too, I just need to wipe the dust off.

There's also a chance to go to St. Louis in September. Joyce Meyer's Women Conference is there. I felt that it might be the thing for me to go there. Maybe. Let's see what God is doing this spring and summer.

Dreams are big and just waiting to see them happening. Go after your dreams!

no words to discribe

So, I learned today that still I am not responding well to disappointments.. or maybe I just don't handle those that well. at least not in here in Finland. I am not sure if I ever will be completely able to respond well to situations that will suck.. but let's just say that today wasn't my best.

With couple words, Easter went well and the whole event went well. I was busy at the info desk and also being charge of the channels and organizing all that. I was running around during Saturday but when I finished, this feel of relief went through me.

So today my ride home forgot to tell me that he already left.. and it sucked. and when these kind of situations come, tears are close by.. even thou I guess there's no reason to cry but that's just my way of handling the situation.. (who forgets things like that.. )

So when I realized what had happened, I just wanted to go and packed my stuff and hopped on a train.

Also one other thing is bugging me. I have been waiting for almost a month that my brother could find the chance to tell me that he is in a relationship with this girl. It has a history behind all this but at least for me, I don't want to read this kind of news from Facebook.. Especially when I have thought that we have a good relationship and we have said that this kind of news we will share openly to each other.. So that has been hard for me.. to wonder what's wrong that even my own brother isn't able to tell me that he has a girlfriend and they are serious about it.. Everybody else seems to know about it.. but not the family.. Maybe this is what it feels to be loved..

Easter started well, ended not so well.. To be honest, there's still tomorrow to help this Easter to be better.. although there should be something amazing to happen so that this feeling of suckness and sadness would leave me.

anyway, hoping that everyone else enjoyed their Easter.

love, S

Wishing you blessed Easter!

I was going to wish you happy Easter but then I started to think, was it that happy?

I mean the results of the events in Israel 2000 years ago are happy for us. Jesus died for us so that we could live forever. So I rather wish blessed Easter for all of you. Maybe during this time we could really spend time with the word and understand of the events that happened long time ago. He died for us. It is unbelievable that this guy died for me. He died for me, for my sake that I could life forever. That all my sins are forgiven. He died for all my sins and my mistakes that I have done and going to do. How amazing is that? Isn't that the greatest way to show love. To realize that this much He loves me. It is just overwhelming feeling to realize that.. wow..

Here's a picture for you to enjoy this time of the year. Hopefully it gives you joy.

I had fun and busy day which I managed to complete, praise the Lord. Deadlines with school work, today we handed out this one work so I have one work less to do, which is awesome. Then I went to visit my practical learning - place. That was fun, I was little bit nervous and excited and wandering if I couldn't find the place.. but I did.. yay.. And it seems that I will have a lot to do there but that's just good thing for me :)

Tomorrow I need to speak Swedish when we go to this school visit with my Swedish class. Then i will head to HistoryMaker.. waiting for that, will be my first time and of course I am doing things. Part of Info-desk, prayer service and hosting the channels.. Yep, that's my Easter :D

Have a blessed Easter!

Valentine's Day

So I made this cake for Valentine's Day.. Was hoping to have some friends for a visit but no one came.. It took me a week to eat this cake.. it was good :)

christmas bakings

My gingerbread house for christmas 2009 in my first own rental apartment, also known as home.